The Boy Who Was Raised as a Dog, by Bruce Perry, cemented my decision to adopt children through the Minnesota Waiting Children Program. This book had several case studies about Mr. Perry’s work with children who have experienced neglect, abuse, and trauma. It is a very emotional book to read, but it provided me with so much insight.
My husband and I both read Beyond Consequences, Logic, and Control: A Love Based Approach to Helping Children with Severe Behaviors by Heather T. Forbes and B. Bryan Post, before embarking on the “matching” portion of our adoption journey. Since being matched and having our children placed with us, we have needed to reference this book on more than one occasion. It is a must read. Will all of the methods work for you? Probably not. Does everything seem easier to deal with when you are reading about it than when you are exhausted, dealing with difficult behaviors, and trying to just keep your head above water? For sure. However, it is so important to remind yourself – over and over again – that so many of our children’s difficult behaviors are coming from fear.
Rage Against the Minivan. A blog written by a mom with 2 biological and 2 adoptive children. Some of my favorite posts include this post about alerting teachers to adoption-related issues (I SO related to SO much of this blog entry) and “where is the mommy war for the motherless child?“
Jen Hatmaker. Her blog post “After the Airport” resonated with me – big time. I read this post to my husband from my phone as we were driving (my husband was actually driving, I was a passenger – don’t worry – no distracted driving here) back home from one of our early “transition” visits with our daughters – during a time that was supposed to be so “joyful” we experienced some very raw and real emotions from one of our daughters. As I read this post to my husband while he drove, I probably cried a little (okay, I cried a lot).